I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
