He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
