Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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