at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
