I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
