Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
