yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
