I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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