just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Randomize
