I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
