and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
