just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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