In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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