I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
