We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
