Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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