how can u be prego again
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
