fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
