Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
