so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
