at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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