I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
