it wasn't lemon gatorade
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize