just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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