I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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