So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
