Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
ttyl tear gas
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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