You really coming over, don't trick.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
