Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
