I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just pynch a tree in the face
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
