sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
