Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
