I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize