I wish my penis had an off switch
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
