i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize