the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
