so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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