he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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