You can't motorboat a personality
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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