thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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