Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
