I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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