I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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