Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
as a side note pls kill me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize