I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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