No stitches, just platelets and will power
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
