Me too!
I just cut my nipple shaving
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
