You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
