She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
