why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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