My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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