I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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