i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
