I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am midnight drunk by noon
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
