So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize