we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
