remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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