there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
