I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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